In the months leading up to graduation last Spring, I had done my best to prepare myself for the next chapter: finding a job, tackling student loans, eventually moving out on my own and developing hobbies with hopes that I would actually have time for them. However I wasn't actually prepared- nor do I think I could have foreseen- how all of these changes and new beginnings would inevitably affect my person.
Although the phrase "identity crisis" comes to mind, I hesitate using it as a result of my cynicism and belief that it might be not exactly in line with what this "thing" is. I'm pretty in tune with my morals, I make an effort to develop opinions that are my own, and I believe that being kind always is one of the most important things to strive for. I find absolutely no entertainment in being scared on purpose (i.e. scary movies, haunted houses, etc.), will never enjoy running- no matter how much I trick myself into thinking I do- and will always have an internal debate over the concept of straight-across bangs. I know who I am.
Instead I might call this 'reinvention'. All that free time that I braced myself for is definitely there, but somehow now feels intimidating. My "hobbies" have lost their sparkle and feel rather thin. I can't help but wonder if they only carried weight because they were confined in a little box called no time. And now with all the open space, they've spilt out like water on a flat surface.
I'm redefining from point A to point B, I just don't happen to know what this point B is. Or perhaps since we're technically always evolving, we're never meant reach a solidified point B, as that would mean we've stopped changing.