Let's be real.

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Like reeally real for a sec. I try to do my best to not make my posts seem like a diary entries, but just bare with me. It would be so easy for me to sit here and post photos, videos, or quotes to substitute and hide how I'm feeling. And some of the time it's what I do. But today, I'm going to take a break from pretending that I have my happy face on all the time-- that everyday I sit down at my computer and post about my perfect day. Because some days, that's simply not possible. Today being one of them. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful life with more good days than bad, but it just turns out that today is leaning closer the bad end of the spectrum. Its one of those days where I want to eat everything in sight, but then end up hounding myself for not being healthy enough. Where I give into one of my annoying habits and then beat myself up about it a few minutes later. Where I can look around at my piles of dirty clothes, and then get that frustrated feeling of having nothing to wear. Where I have to lie down in my dark room for the bazillionth time because of a nagging headache. Where I feel like I have too much control and not enough of it all at the same time. Where the little things that I've learned to let go are bugging me. In the best way that I can describe it:: with everything I do or think, I just feel like I'm in a constant battle with myself. I can't make any decisions about anything, literally, and I'm very certain that today, I am my own worst enemy. 

But I'm trying to remember:: 

"The sweet isn't as sweet without the sour."