-daily morning shadows on the kitchen floor-
In light of the new year, I've been doing a lot of reflecting just as I assume everyone else around this time has, whether advertised or not. Over the last several days or so, I've come up with multiple drafts in my head of how I want to go about writing this post. Whether or not I want to sit here and bore you with the goals I've set for myself and for this blog over the coming year, and if I should ramble on about the ups and downs and thises and thats of 2012. While all of that might've been perfectly fine, I think I'll spare you the details and keep some of those things personal. If there's one thing I've learned about myself here recently, it is that my interests and inspirations are very much subject to change. A goal today may become irrelevant tomorrow.
Indecisiveness is one thing, but and overall change of heart at the drop of a hat? Well. I'm not exactly thrilled with this little trait of mine, but I have to believe that it is only temporary. Like many my age, life can be defined with one word: transitional. I'm nineteen years old and smack dab in the middle of just about everything. My age. Its not that of a child, but not of an adult either (and whoever said that 18 means 'all grown up!' was seriously on something). My education. I'm halfway through college (transition could be a synonym for that place) and just now understanding the harsh reality that my decisions actually mean something. My family. We are literally picking up and moving to a different world. My mind. Although I believe that the mind is always in a state of transition, learning and adjusting with time, the "leaving-home-and-experiencing-life-without-parents" period calls for a extra special filing cabinet. It is now that I'm truly becoming my own person.
-pretty light & a comfy shirt-
So instead of the seemingly endless rambling about the past year that I promise you I'm capable of, I'll just stick to sharing one piece of non-academic knowledge that I managed to acquire in 2012. Now I know I'm not exactly wise, but this has proven fairly true so far: everything in life rests on a fine line. The difference of a smile with your mouth and a smile with your eyes. The hitting the snooze button for "five more minutes" times three, and all of the sudden you're late. The moment you realize a friendship isn't what it used to be- not from anything extraordinary, but for all of the little ordinary things that weren't up to par. The dipping your toes in the deep end and then suddenly you're drowning. The balance between optimism and reality. Whether its the decision to eat an apple over a bag of potato chips or to play with fire where fire should be kept alone, it doesn't take much. So notice the little things, appreciate the little things and act on the little things.
As for 2013, well, here's the thing. Of course I have goals and ambitions for this year. Planning is literally part of my being. But I also know that life will happen. Get in the way. And that's fine, because I'm excited to live the unplanned events of this year. That's when I feel like we do most of our learning- when we're not expecting it.